Just one of those days...

...when everything goes wrong.

Sometimes, all it takes is just one bad, seemingly inconsequential incident to throw your whole day off.







Tomorrow seems such a good idea now.

Someone I barely knew

He was sitting on the floor by a corner huddled.He looked up to see me walking towards him.
I’ve heard him many times do this on the phone but this was the first time I’ve seen the tears fall.
He was crying because she left him – again.

I crouched in front of him and didn’t say anything. I didn’t even reach out to touch him. I just sat there.

Then he started to speak, not to me or to anyone in particular.
He just started saying the things he desperately wanted to tell her but for reasons I would never know, he just couldn’t. So I sat in there and listened.

His despairing continued, fleeting thoughts following one after the other.
Sometimes it was about money; sometimes it was about time; many times it was about
understanding. And I sat there and listened.

Next thing I knew, I could feel tears running down my face.

Then I woke up.

Randomanics 102: Multi-tasking

It hasn't been scientifically proven - yet.
But it has been my, and almost everone else's, observation that women are better predisposed to multitasking than men.

By multitasking I mean doing several (not just two!) complex tasks at the same time. And to all the gentlemen out there, watching TV and eating does NOT qualify as complex tasks, nor does doing them together constitute a multitask.

But I digress.

It's an observation my friends and I have always referred to when pointing out the differences between our gender and that of the "others". At the onset, it may sound like we're bitching and moaning about how men can never keep up with us women. Or to put it more colorfully, that it'd take a divine act to get men off their butts to do stuff like laundry, cooking, babysitting the kids or balancing the checkbook.

Yet if men cared to endure the chatter, they'd find that down the conversation, women will admit (deep in their heart of hearts) that men have purposes beyond procreation. While women are whizzes at multitasking, we are next to useless when it comes to making quick, decisive actions.

For the women out there, try recalling the last time someone asked you where you'd like to eat out. Admit it, it took you NO LESS than 10 minutes to make that decision. Why? Because chances were, you had so many options in mind to which you will also shoot down with less-than-kind remarks.

Why not this one? Oh their bathrooms are horrible.

Or the other one? I heard somewhere that they don't serve diet cola.

And what's the name of that new restaurant down the block? Oh right, they've redecorated. I heard they hired this new designer and that the reviews are really good. But I don't like it there. They don't have free coffee refills.

It even gets worse when you put several females together. The decision-making time gets a compounded multiplicator of 0.35 for every additional female brain that gets lumped into the decision making process.

So if you ask a group of 5 women where they'd want to have dinner, do the math:

1 woman = 10 mins
+ girlfriend # 1 = 10 minutes + (10mins x 0.35) = 13.5 mins
+ girlfriend # 2 = 13.5 mins + (13.5 x 0.35) = 18.22 mins
+ girlfriend # 3 = 18.22 mins + (18.22 x 0.35) = 24.6 mins
+ girlfriend # 4 = 24.6 mins + (24.6 x 0.35) = 33.22 mins

It takes them more than half an hour to decide where to have dinner.

And don't even start with where to get desserts.

Men, on the other hand, can be relied on to make a quick call on any given situation. It may not be the best call to a female mind, but it's the decision-making time we're clocking here, not the quality of the decision.

Here's an interesting excersise:
Go to your favorite coffee-distribution establishment where the beverage options go beyond "regular" and "large" and where the options have sub-options, which have their own options and so on and so forth.

Position yourself near the counter where the customers place their order. Make sure you have a timing device on you at that time. Now observe the customers' decision-making time and categorize them according to gender. You will find that women take significantly longer to make a decision.

My own findings say that women stack an average 1 mins and 45 seconds to the men's 30 seconds...

More than 3 times the male average. hhhhamazing.

So where does this lead us?

To me, it's yet another case for heterosexuality.
Women are meant to be with men.
And men... well, they just won't work (well) without women.

In much as the same way during prehistory where the women gathered food and the men hunted for food, women gather options which men hunt down to a definite decision.

Now that may seem too simplistic but it's that simplicity that appeals to me.

It may not sound typical of a female mind.
But who's asking?

Randomanics 102: Multi-tasking

It hasn't been scientifically proven - yet.
But it has been my, and almost everone else's, observation that women are better predisposed to multitasking than men.

By multitasking I mean doing several (not just two!) complex tasks at the same time. And to all the gentlemen out there, watching TV and eating does NOT qualify as complex tasks, nor does doing them together constitute a multitask.

But I digress.

It's an observation my friends and I have always referred to when pointing out the differences between our gender and that of the "others". At the onset, it may sound like we're bitching and moaning about how men can never keep up with us women. Or to put it more colorfully, that it'd take a divine act to get men off their butts to do stuff like laundry, cooking, babysitting the kids or balancing the checkbook.

Yet if men cared to endure the chatter, they'd find that down the conversation, women will admit (deep in their heart of hearts) that men have purposes beyond procreation. While women are whizzes at multitasking, we are next to useless when it comes to making quick, decisive actions.

For the women out there, try recalling the last time someone asked you where you'd like to eat out. Admit it, it took you NO LESS than 10 minutes to make that decision. Why? Because chances were, you had so many options in mind to which you will also shoot down with less-than-kind remarks.

Why not this one? Oh their bathrooms are horrible.

Or the other one? I heard somewhere that they don't serve diet cola.

And what's the name of that new restaurant down the block? Oh right, they've redecorated. I heard they hired this new designer and that the reviews are really good. But I don't like it there. They don't have free coffee refills.

It even gets worse when you put several females together. The decision-making time gets a compounded multiplicator of 0.35 for every additional female brain that gets lumped into the decision making process.

So if you ask a group of 5 women where they'd want to have dinner, do the math:

1 woman = 10 mins
+ girlfriend # 1 = 10 minutes + (10mins x 0.35) = 13.5 mins
+ girlfriend # 2 = 13.5 mins + (13.5 x 0.35) = 18.22 mins
+ girlfriend # 3 = 18.22 mins + (18.22 x 0.35) = 24.6 mins
+ girlfriend # 4 = 24.6 mins + (24.6 x 0.35) = 33.22 mins

It takes them more than half an hour to decide where to have dinner.

And don't even start with where to get desserts.

Men, on the other hand, can be relied on to make a quick call on any given situation. It may not be the best call to a female mind, but it's the decision-making time we're clocking here, not the quality of the decision.

Here's an interesting excersise:
Go to your favorite coffee-distribution establishment where the beverage options go beyond "regular" and "large" and where the options have sub-options, which have their own options and so on and so forth.

Position yourself near the counter where the customers place their order. Make sure you have a timing device on you at that time. Now observe the customers' decision-making time and categorize them according to gender. You will find that women take significantly longer to make a decision.

My own findings say that women stack an average 1 mins and 45 seconds to the men's 30 seconds...

More than 3 times the male average. hhhhamazing.

So where does this lead us?

To me, it's yet another case for heterosexuality.
Women are meant to be with men.
And men... well, they just won't work (well) without women.

In much as the same way during prehistory where the women gathered food and the men hunted for food, women gather options which men hunt down to a definite decision.

Now that may seem too simplistic but it's that simplicity that appeals to me.

It may not sound typical of a female mind.
But who's asking?

I stand here. Humbled and contrite.

I've been going to church for as long as I can remember.
I've served and done 'Christian duties' for nearly all my adult life.
On appearances alone, I may seem like a model person for youth to emulate.
Yet despite all that, I have failed as a Christian many times over.

This week was one of them.

And it was NOT borne out of a troubled situation.
The family is well. Work, although difficult, has been something I could cope with. I've never felt abandoned, despised, threatened or discriminated against.
In other words, there'd be a sore lack of a reason for me to have acted the way I had.
No other reason, perhaps for the fact that I have been impatient, and my faith was tried and it faltered.

I can't say just yet as to what exactly I had done. But I will say this: It had brought me close to the place where I was before - when I started feeling numb and not caring whether I did wrong or right, so long as it felt good.

What some would call guilt, I call the pleadings of the Holy Spirit - reminding me of my sin, telling me it is wrong. But most importantly, that I already am forgiven and I simply need to acknowledge my sin, repent from it and ask for restoration.

And so... here I am to be broken once more.
Pride, folly, selfishness, insincerity, vanity to be purged.

Despite the many times I've gone through these, it never gets easier. If at all, it's more painful to see myself repeating the same mistakes over and over. To fail Him with the same task again and again.

And yet herein, too, lies the comfort and reassurance that despite the shame, He will take me back.

Grace has promised it so.

I can't say for sure when the prodigal daughter will be fully restored, but she certainly has asked to be lifted from the mud.