Catharsis
... the act of expressing deep emotions often associated with events in the individual's past which have never before been adequately expressed. (From Wikipedia)
So basically, it's an enema to relieve emotional constipation.
I do this because of reason stated above.
This entry was written not to solicit anything. It was written as perhaps a (useless) acknowledgement that regardless of what we do to avoid them, a**holes are in this world. And I'm not just referring to the rectum. (pardon the crassness, but what else's new?)
Ok, let's start at the beginning.
This happened the afternoon of yesterday. I was on my way home and as usual, took the jeep. Somewhere between Eliptical Road and Brgy. Vasra, I felt something brush against my left side. Being in a crowded jeep, I didn't pay much attention to it.
Until I felt it again.
This time, more insistent than the first.
I looked at the person on my left. It was a man in his early 30s. The bastard was looking away at the street. His mind and his right hand was on something completely different, though.
With the jeep roaring down the road at who-knows-what-per-hour, I had barely time to realize what was going on.
It's only now I understand why some women in this situation fail to act as they should. Those who haven't gone through this would probably tell me "You should have done so and so..." or "If I was in your place, I would've done yada yada..."
I know this because I used to say those exact same things.
It's a totally diffent thing when you're actually the one who's gone through it.
By the time I realized what had happened, the jeep had reached the terminal and everyone got off. Including the walking rectum.
I didn't get off until a good 15 seconds had passed after he left. Both out of shock and precaution.As I got off the jeep, I made damn sure I knew exactly where he was and saw him round the corner. Only then did I feel any semblance of security.
But before that, all I felt was numb. Some undertones of anger were there, but for some reason it didn't surface.
The thoughts running through my head was a mix of "What are you going to do? Confront him? If you do, then what?" and "Why didn't you do anything? So much for being Ms. Stand-up-for-yourself."
It angers me all the more now as I write about it. But on the other hand, this indignation has no one to fall on. So as much as I want to seek retribution for being violated, there is no means I can do so.
Thus existeth this entry.
After this, I realize there is some more reckoning to be done, and with God's help I will.
Only by His grace, I will.
